Thoughts from one of those nights.

It's been one of those days, following one of those nights

Full of self-questioning, over analyzing, over fearing. blah-blah-blah.

We've all been there. It hurts, it paralyzes, it overfills, it spills, it burns. It even might seem like your most pessimistic, darkest self wouldn't even want to be a part of you.
Sounds familiar?

We all go through these hard nights, aka "The dark night of the Soul". The morning after, you might feel like you've been drained from yourself, anxiety might even take over. Energy is all over the place yet not really working for you. Sadness creeps in, self-doubt is your worst enemy -yet again! And whatever demons you thought you had already left behind come crawling back to the top of your head. Hey old "friend", I really didn't miss you at all.

The beautiful thing about this kind of mornings is... they are the perfect time to ask for help. To see yourself in all your shades, your dark spots and heavy areas with total humility & no self judgement. Your soul is calling, shouting really, for help and you are wide awake. You are willing to take another big step into growth, you are back in a place you already know to actually be humble enough and see yourself clearly. 

After a wild night fighting the ego-filled thoughts, and a morning loaded with self-work and meditation... This is what came up from my heart or, what I like to think, was given and said from above...(Thank you beloved Universe). Hope my words, and my personal experience find a way to your heart and maybe even fill a tiny empty area. Hope you breathe a little easier after reading these words and you get to rest in the beautiful truth that we are all just figuring life out. We are all going back to love. Enjoy,

"It is not enough to love me. I want you to allow me to love you. 
I want you to experience real love, so that you will cease to fear the darkness.
But can you experience the love you deserve with the same bitter expectations that have kept a heart closed? Can you recognize that you cannot keep hiding behind fear?
You deserve more than that. 
Can you allow yourself to receive?
You are in need of more sustenance, more love, more connection and nourishment. 
Will you allow love in? Even if it scares you to the bone?

Now is the time to gently, carefully, look back to the walls you once placed between yourself and everything you can't control- walls of tentativeness, excessive caution, fear of abandonment and betrayal, doubt of your own lovableness, and doubts based on past pain without substance.
These walls are the stuff that is designed for demolition, not devotion and honoring. Can you see the importance of this recognition?
Can you begin to unpack the bricks you believed were essential for your protection?

You are too vast a sea for that small puddle of thought now. 
You've grown. 
You can't keep forcing yourself to fit in smallness, self-pitty, and irrational fear. 

Allow yourself to receive. 
Allow love. 
Allow me. 
Allow yourself."

love always,